Top 10 Stupid questions!!!

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:-
Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the ‘Butter Paneer Masala’ dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also
spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years…
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-
No, he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout…it’s just the
money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or
not.
You thought I was sleeping….you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I’m shedding……

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in
flames!!!

International symbol of marriage………

.

if u don’t believe it just type “international symbol of marriage” in google n search for images……………………………
Hope all women Are happy now!! J


for those who are not getting what’s in the hand of man ……………………….it is creditcard.

Customer Care in 2020

After Nandan Nilekani succeeds in his job (IN 2020 EVERYBODY IN INDIA

SHALL HAVE TYP IDENTITY NO)

Customer : Calling to Pizza Hut No…

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut ….”

Customer: “Helloo, can I order..”

Operator  : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…,hold………..on……889861356102049998-45-54610″

Operator  : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Central Road Andheri. Your home number is 284094! 2366, your office 27645202 and your mobile is 9842662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers? Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir” Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?” Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir” Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator  : “Try our Low Fat Veg Pizza. You’ll like it” Customer: “How do you know for sure?” Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Low Fat Veg Dishes” from the National library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?” Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs.1999.45″ Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs.33, 720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator  ”You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator  ”About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator  ”According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,….registration number MH-01-UA-6363…”

Customer: ” ????”
Operator  ”Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way…. aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “

Customer …. (abusive language )

Operator  : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman….?”

Customer: [Faints]

Good Neck Exercise …… :P

A doctor advises his patients to exercise their neck by just reading this message. In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications. “It is very effective,” said the doctor. “All my patients never come back to me.”

IT Humor – eToons

IT Humor – eToons

Nominated by UN -The Best Poem !!!

The Best Poem

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem, written by an
African Kid…Read On…..

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black…

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray…

And you calling me colored???

Corporate Lesson 1

Knock Knock………

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. “Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner in the next 10 mins, I will EAT all this dung!” Exclaimed the eager salesman. “Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that” asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, “Why, madam??” “There’s no electricity in the house…” said the lady.  Lesson: Gather all details, including environmental variables, before working on any project and committing to the client…!!!

Why Pappu Failed

I Quit Drinking :)

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in
the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The
bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass;
it would taste better if you buy one at a time.” The man replies, “Well, you
see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I’m here
in London. When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to
remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man
became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order
3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only
2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I
don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere
condolences on your great loss.”

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs…. “Oh, no,” he, said,
“Everyone’s fine – both my brothers are alive”. The only thing is I just
quit drinking…!!!